Sacred Masculine Part 2
I believe that we are in times where gender roles can and must be redefined, in order to create the ones that resonate with the person we are reconstructing. In the self-discovery path, important questions arise; what kind of men do I want to construct? What kind of a woman do I want to construct?
Redefining these roles nowadays is key to heal. We have become so attached to false and misunderstood concepts of our human condition. Embracing ideas implemented by others have become very normal, we forget to question and to follow our own instinct.
As part of the Sacred Masculine interviews, today I share with you the interview I had with Alwan. He grew up in Baalbek, a mountain city in Lebanon. Please read his words, here I asked how the path to self healing has changed his views on masculinity and how he is redefining it.
What was the belief about masculinity that you had growing up?
From a young age, I grew up in a very Macho society. A civil war-torn Lebanon, men had to survive or they would be stepped on. Although my dad was a very kind man and very loving. We had better fortune learning from him much. But never the less the environment had its effect and was a tough growing up in a mountain city called Baalbek. People have a reputation for being tough and trouble makers. Some of the beliefs I had growing up is that a man never shows weakness, a man never opens up and be vulnerable to show his girl crush he likes her or shows that his hurt or crying, that was another way you show you are unbreakable. I don't know where that came from but it must've been something I learned. To some degree, kindness is a sign of weakness.
Based on your culture, how did it shape your masculinity?
Lebanese culture is definitely very macho. As a kid, learning by observing my uncle at times be very hard-headed and hostel to his wife when spending the summer visiting my cousins. For some reason he got me interested in the Godfather was something that associated masculinity with. That man who is protecting his family and is unbreakable is a sense and his decision doesn't change. His way or the high way. Even if that means being hard of his family and his wife or kids. Growing up I had some fights with kids my age, some I thought I won other I got my ass handed to me. But it was also in the shows and the news we listened to.
Have you had the opportunity to heal and change that belief?
Very fortunate to have the opportunity to grow and shed off false beliefs. Yes.
What tools have you used to start healing yourself?
Self-reflection was at the core. Which lead me to explore and redefine my masculinity. Thank God for the internet and the abundance of information. I definitely had to reexamine my thoughts around what it means to be a man. I can say I'm blessed to have Role models in history I had the chance to study their life journey. Devine humans that walked the earth, starting form prophet Mohammad and his son in law Ali bin Abi Taleb. Then the eternal love Jesus had for Mary magdalen and the love Ali had to Fatima (prophets daughter) pease be upon them. Also the different stands those people took at different situations they found themselves in. Which gives me a way of life to take and live by. Indigenous people call it 'Walking the Red Road'. As to experiencing love, I had a first-hand experience of how it feels to be engulfed in an unconditional vibration of love when I had my psychedelic journeys e.g Ayawasca, DMT, San Pedro cactus, that's a feeling that can never be put in words because of the limitation of words. It was like being in my mother's womb cozy and the fluid surrounding my conscience is love. Having a sense of the feeling makes me translate that into action, mercy, compassion to all of creation. Coming out of psychedelic journeys and reading the holy Quranic text made so much tangible sense. Of course, I still have my shortcomings, I pray I have the ability to reconcile and see that immediately.
How do you experience vulnerability?
Experiencing vulnerability by just being in the moment, not expecting results, giving, loving, caring for the sake of being that which is loving. At times thoughts of resentfulness, bitterness, anger, pop up as a result of some one's actions or something that happened. That shedding off those feelings is being vulnerable. It doesn't happen instantly. You have to work at it. Those feelings want to soft ground to dig deep and stay planted. Keep reminding the self that being vulnerable is brave, but not stupid either. Gut checks are essential, with wisdom the core.
How have you learned to balance masculine and feminine energy in yourself?
Don't think anyone has balanced their masculine and feminine energy. The act of figuring that out is balancing. Being more patient with the women in my life and just being that encore they can open up around safely with no judgment.
How do you connect with your emotions now that you have started a healing journey?
At this point, listening to what is being felt, it is a system that we don't control on demand. That's our emotions. Reflection. Submitting to the flow of emotions through the state of one being. Kinda like waiting out a winter storm, knowing that it will change to a sunny day in the end. Patience is at the core of this process.
How do you embrace your masculinity now?
Now at 31 being a masculine male is being truthful to oneself. It's tough. Acting upon knowing the truth of what is self-deceiving. Holding integrity and reconciling. Trusting in the journey God has us on of every moment. Nothing is controlled by self, it's all inputs and outputs of data. Perception is all we can choose to pick.
Thanks for reading me!
Love,
Jessica