Sacred Masculine
As I started walking the path to understand myself and heal as a woman, I also understood the importance of healing the divine masculine. I don't like to use the term "toxic masculinity" because in the end men and women are broken in some way. We both have misconceptions of one another and we have adopted sick ideas, myths, habits, beliefs about how gender roles should be. In this new era where we can redefine our story, we can see a more clear transformation and understanding of who we want to become and how we want to integrate male and female energy in a balanced and healthy way. Regardless of whether we are male or female, we all have divine masculine and divine feminine energy within us. It is beneficial to draw on these energies within ourselves to honor who we are and to create. But it is especially important that we release resistance to the essence of the specific gender that we chose for this life. Divine masculine represents action, direction, movement, responsibility, strength, focus, fatherhood, the sun, generosity, encouragement, material abundance, clarity, intellect, transformation and growth. The divine masculine is what is going to support the birth process of the new earth, which is being brought into manifestation by divine feminine. However, when it gets distorted it can turn into domination, perversion, and aggression. As we change our paradigm of the masculine, it creates openings for the men in our lives to step into a new reality, one in which they can show up as tender, protective, strong, discerning. New Masculine energy is beginning to flow into our consciousness, and we are becoming aware that in order to heal and change we need to step into this new form of being. When a man is able to open up, he allows himself to heal in order to be his true self. If you begin to clear your hearts, minds and actions of the things that are obscuring this essence, it will immediately shine through on it’s own.
Growing up with only brothers has been a wonderful, and enlightening, experience. One thing I have definitely gained is a deep empathy for what men go through. I have been very fortunate to be surrounded by incredible and sensitive men and I made a series of interviews with 3 men with different backgrounds. Today, I want to share a brief interview with an incredible man I have the honor to know. Matt, talks about his perception on masculinity, healing experiences, and being a father of 4 girls. Please scroll down and read on.
What was the belief about masculinity that you had growing up?
Growing up as an only child in the absence of my father, my initial beliefs about masculinity were assumed by the mind of a child. Physical strength, monetary success, desire from women, were among the societal conditioning that I accepted as “ what it meant to be a man” when I grew up. Big muscles, fast cars, Money and women would make me a man......
Based on your culture, how did it shape your masculinity?
Seemed an impossible task. When would I be a man in the eyes of the world. When would I feel like a man based on the metrics put forth my society and internalized on my own. Would I have the body, the career, the $$, the sense of security and accomplice to that a man should have. Never. These weren’t my wishes, not my dreams. All falsehood put on me and accepted and standards I would never reach. I could never be “that” man.
Have you had the opportunity to heal and change that belief?
Yes! Coming back to who I’ve always been and meeting again for the first time my very own essence. Noccankani!
Above anything else I can now say that I know I will be ok. I will be better than ok. Letting go of the accepted brokenness within my soul has been amazing. There isn’t anything sadder than a person defeated by a conditioned World view passed down generations over. Believing someone else’s dream that even they didn’t create has become status quo and when I realized that my essence is larger, stronger, and more resilient than I ever dreamed, it freed me to become who I’ve always been meant to be.
What tools have you used to start healing yourself?
Plant medicine, meditation, rituals that allow me to expire once my own direct revelations. Answering my own questions and coming back to my true essence and self.
How do you experience vulnerability?
By being honest with myself and others about how I truly feel within my heart. By avoiding the traps of the ego and building walls to protect, I am finding myself lighter in the chest, carrying less armor around my heart. This allows me to love much deeper but certainly leaves that same softness open to danger from those people and situations that have yet to begin their own healing. Oddly that same vulnerability fills me with strength in knowing that my heart is true in all situations, even if that means it’s open to danger, the freedom of not hiding it any longer has been incredibly liberating.
How have you learned to balance masculine and feminine energy in yourself?
4 daughters helps. I’m am the protector, provider and I’m also the nurturer and center of love for them. Breath and meditation keep me connected with my heart space. Intentionality around opening the heart to send and receive love more freely has even caught the notice of people I’ve known for years. Often I’ve heard how different I seem , not just look, but my level of openness. I feel it and when others can see it, it deepens and grows.
How do you connect with your emotions now that you have started a healing journey?
Deeply and with intention. I’ve always been very aware of my emotional state but I never took the time to understand “from where” did these feelings come. Beyond the surface I mean. I’m not angry because “she” yelled at me or “he” cut me off in traffic. I’m not sad because “she” doesn’t love me the way I need, or “he” wasn’t the father I needed. These feelings are greater than any one incident. The are forever and always, just as love and happiness are. Meditation on events allows me to see deeper into the situation, the persons involved and more importantly, myself and my true feelings about situations and the emotional response that arises from within. It is up to me to decide how I really feel.
How do you embrace your masculinity now?
With truth and acceptance about what it means to ME to be a man. No longer am I chasing what was expected of me by others. No longer am I trying to be someone who has never existed. Through walking this path, I know what actions must be taken and I take them without hesitation, trusting my hearts instinct and doing the work necessary. It’s not always easy and I’m fact it’s most times difficult but the challenges fill me with confidence and strength to continue. This path is allowing me to be my own healer and re shape the world/reality I live in.
